emotionally constipated

I'm a girl. So, girls are by nature; more emotional, right? Well, actually I think that guys are emotional in their own right, but just have much different ways of re-channeling their emotions than the other half of us; some are healthier, some are not. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going to end up with all of this, but just wanted to do some rambling on the topic of emotions.

Been doing some thinking and stuff about the whole thing of human emotions, they are an amazing thing aren't they?!...emotions. They can get us in a lot of trouble if we show them too much, and they can get us in a lot of trouble by stuffing them too much. What a conundrum.

In society at large; I'll speak of American society I guess since that's where I have most of my experience^^...emotions are a weird thing. By the way, it's inevitable that I'm going to make some generalizations here...there are always going to be many many exceptions...but from my own little point of view here (which is all I can offer since I'm not all-knowing)...this is my take on it...at this particular time.

Emotions are for the most part; best to keep a lid on, at least this is the message many of us grow up being told in one way or another. We are taught from early childhood, how to "behave" or what is acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior, which has it's good and beneficial place; but aren't most of our behaviors as children (and I guess as adults too) caused or put in motion by an emotion of some sort? I'm no psychologist here; just a person who lives everyday experiencing life...but definitely no expert^^ but doesn't this kinda bug you? Well, it doesn't really bug me and make me loose sleep over it, but I do see the contradiction here and I guess this is my own way of trying to blabber about it in an attempt to process it and make some sort of sanity out of it.

Uncontrolled emotions can be very harmful; to self and to others. Yeah...I get that...trust me...-I get that one. But seriously...don't people usually get to that point of exploding or boiling over to a certain extent with emotions BECAUSE they were not given much "permission" to express those emotions initially? What's better? If they (and I guess I'm referring to mostly children and adolescents -but eventually these children/adolescents become adults) are given the chance or permission or dare I even say, encouragement, to safely blow off their steam at the onset of them...and therefore be able to process it within a safe and loving environment, (which ideally would be the family or the closest thing one has to that), therefore letting it blow off and watch it go up in some minor vapor or steam...rather than holding it in and having it go up later in toxic flames because it was being stuffed too long and shouldn't have; wouldn't the former be far better than the latter? But why is this so seldom the case? Especially within "Christian households"?

I'm not really speaking about my own "stuff" here, because I'm old enough to know now that it's not only MY stuff, rather it's something rather common. And if you're not old enough or versed enough in life to get that, then hmmm...sorry...got nothing for ya here on that...

Anyways...tangents...uhhhggg!! Well, okay Kristen...just let it out...blow off some steam about blowing off steam!!! Hehehe...okay. Well, I just don't like how people are so enamored with emotionally constipating themselves and their children? What is it with people these days and being so emotionally-phobic? Okay, I know I'm probably hitting on somebody's nerve...ohhh...do you feel your emotions rising? Well...you should just stuff them or relax and act like it's nothing. Just take an emotional laxative later on...which actually is just a delusion. Enough of the patronizing..

I get that people shouldn't wear their emotions on the cuffs of their sleeves. OK...I GET THAT! And aren't I doing a great job of demonstrating that one?! But what about the other extreme? Why is it not okay for people...especially people whom we are in relationship with....whether is be really intimate or just more acquaintanceship...not okay? What are we afraid of here? REALITY? Why does our culture say you must first hide or mask those strong emotions? Man, I guess I'm being too vague here.

I have a 3 year-old daughter who could be explained as the quintessential of being emotionally free. Well, she's 3. She's hasn't been completely "civilized" yet, but I sometimes think to myself...I'm going to, or at least I want to teach my child that the way she is wired is a strength and I can handle that...at least I'd better be able to handle that -don't have much of a choice! Yet I want to be able to show her how to effectively channel her emotions to be let out in a way that is beneficial to her and to others...and that's not going to happen by just telling her to "Shut-up", either by saying just that, or by saying it not exactly like that, but rather in a more passive-aggressive manner...whatever that looks like. But the funny thing is...I think I'm realizing, I don't really know how to do this myself!!! So, it's the blind leading the blind...but my first steps in walking this direction is to see it for what it really is. That is; to see it as it is...not as the way it "should" be or the way I wish it was.

And that, I guess brings me a little more close to my point here. Why are we (including me btw) so uptight about one expressing their emotions to us...(I'm referring to people we are in relationship with, not strangers off the street) instead we get all uptight...why can't people just see things as they are and say things as they are and then work through that? I realize that in doing this...many misconceptions will undoubtedly arise or be revealed...but that's okay, actually this is what, in my opinion, is what we should embrace and be ready to engage in...it's the door way to truth, reality, or the realization of how far we are from reality and truth...it is what it is..and if we can't say what we think/feel..how can we work out the misconceptions? If my daughter tells me she doesn't like me and that I'm mean...than she's expressing her current emotion in response to something...I think I should be okay with that. If I tell my husband or sister something I see or feel in response to something they have said or done...then I'm speaking or sharing my emotion or feeling about that...it's not writing it down in stone...it's just blowing off steam.

Now I realize that, as an adult doing this, I'm much better off by making it very clear in the beginning to the other person that is what I'm doing...just blowing off some steam...and not claiming absolutes, statements or judgements about them...but I and they should be allowed to do this...in an effort to move forward and get on with life...not to just stuff it because it doesn't sound very nice!

Do you get it? If not, and you think I'm a nut...then I guess I'd be a hypocrite in saying you can't tell me that...given what I've been saying in this post, in my attempt to blow off my little steam. Choo choo...I'm out--PEACE~!!