Anyways, I'm reading "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie at the recommendation of a dear friend. A-MAZING. From only reading the intro from the sample, I've jotted down my own notes and footnotes and thoughts and this is what I've got so far. I hope you can draw something beneficial from this and apply it to wherever you find yourself in life. If not, just leave it here. You don't have to agree with my theories or opinions. I'm ok with that. Really, I am. Sometimes I find myself reading back to my previous posts I've written and seeing how I've personally grown and changed...that's ok. It's a journey. And I'm just sharing with you where I'm at now on that path, just in case and in hopes it could help out another fellow human being on the path. So, take it or leave it. You know your story more than anyone else.
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The Four Questions - The Work - The Inquiry based from "Loving What Is" -my notes..
Where are you lying to yourself? - welcome persistence, welcome inquiry - trust the work, this is from writing out statements about how we feel about whatever, any given subject, person or circumstance.
1.) "Is it true?" - "shoulds" are not the same as truths, they often keep us locked up from dealing with WHAT IS --> Reality. The "shoulds" are opinions/judgments that lead to expectations. They are different than truths, or WHAT IS (reality).
My footnotes (not in the book) - This is from eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. It's feeding off of lies. Off of the "shoulds" based on this knowledge of good and evil, that was forbidden for us to have in the first place. But we eat from this, we feed off of the "shoulds" which are judgments. For when we eat of it, we will surely die. Not because we are being naughty and God wants to punish us for our sins. But because we were not created to NEED that knowledge in order to live. We were not created with the need to live out of our own judgments and constantly assessing things and judging things. There is a place for this now, but it's because now, since we ate from that tree and sin entered into the world, there is a basis for this. Why? Because we cannot trust with abandon, or at least this is very difficult in our fallen state. We have broken that perfect union with God, and have placed ourselves in that place, of knowing good and evil, apart from trusting God. We were never meant to live in a world where the "shoulds" are a burden because of the unatainablility or the unsustainablity of living and walking in the "shoulds"..because of sin.
2.) "Can you absolutely know that it's true?" Is it what's actually happening, or is it what you think should be happening? -there's a difference. Truth is dealing with what's actually happening, not our opinion of what's happening.
3.) "How do you react when you think that thought?" - You don't need to rehearse giving perfect sounding answers. I'm not after perfection, I'm after honesty. I always have the option open to keeping my thoughts, however beneficial or detrimental they are, I can keep them. Getting behind the thought and following through an an investigative role reveals to me whether or not I will WANT to keep that thought (I am free to choose). Remember, "What's true is always what's happening, not the story about what SHOULD be happening." It's dealing with the facts of what is happening, not the thought of what SHOULD be happening -this point is important to keep in mind.
-Added question when further investigation is warranted: "Can you see a reason to drop the thought? This thought could be a belief or an expectation. I'm not being asked to drop my story. Get clear on this..-I can keep my story. I can keep my thoughts. This is not about getting rid of thoughts or about overcoming, improving, or surrendering them. None of that. This is about realizing for yourself, internal cause and effect. The question is simply, "can you see a reason to drop this thought?" or "Can you find a stress-free reason to keep this thought?" -this statement, which you thought was truth but was actually a should, which is a judgment that's coupled with an expectation...Can you find a stress-free reason to keep this thought?
My footnote - This is the essence of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The lie is that you think you're getting what you're after (knowledge of good and evil). But there was a reason why Adam and Eve were commanded not to eat from this tree..."for if you eat of it you will surely die." -Gen 2:17. Why would it kill them? -Because they were not created to receive it...it was in reality -poison. Poison to their souls. They did not surely die. The serpent was right in a sense, they would not surely die. But he completely missed the heart of the warning...the warning was in regards to their very hearts, or their souls, for we are far more than just physical matter. They ate, they kept living. They did not physically die. They spiritually died. The spiritual death that resulted from eating the spiritual poison was because God did not create them to be compatible with obtaining this knowledge of good and evil. So we THINK we have this knowledge and that we're better off with it. To the extent that we judge and believe our judgments without ever questioning these judgments...we live or die, we suffer or thrive. The fact that we NEED to question our own judgments proves the fact that our own judgments are indeed faulty. And the fact that one believes they never have to question their own judgments or thoughts -they are tragically deceived!
4.) "Who would you be without that thought?" or in my own words, "how would you feel without that thought (judgment/conclusion/belief)? Picture it. Envision it. Walk it out. Are you more free or are you more of a prisoner?
My footnote - The fact that we need to do this work, this inquisition of our internal cause and effect processing goes to show that there is something wrong with our thinking to such a core level that it requires so much conscious effort to do this. We are THAT screwed up. We are THAT damaged! What would happen if you drank kerosene? Is your digestive system equipped to deal with that without seriously harming itself? -Hell no! Just like the knowledge of good and evil isn't inherently bad in and of itself. It's just that as humans, who are designed and wired to be fully and beautifully dependent upon our Creator..we were not designed to NEED that knowledge or to process that knowledge if we got it. Only God is! An airplane jet engine runs smoothly with kerosene pumping through its system. But a human would not!
God works beautifully having that knowledge of good and evil. But humans do not! This is why this work of renewing our minds is necessary...because our minds have eaten that poison from eating from the knowledge of good and evil. With sin, we need to discern and judge right from wrong. But that need is precisely BECAUSE of sin. It's BECAUSE we ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the first place that we now need to be able to discern right from wrong. If there wasn't ever any eating from that tree, there would be no sin, therefore there would be no need to have to discern right from wrong! But now we have to be leery of our own press releases (beliefs/conclusions/judgments) that are announced in our brains by our brains! Because all of our thinking is screwed up from eating from that tree of the knowledge of good and evil!!
For those who are familiar with Christ-Life or The Ultimate Journey, this is a very similar line of thought, but with a "secular" twist. You don't need to have an extensive theological background to get to the bottom of your thoughts and decide if you want to keep them or not.
The most dangerous things in the world are our own uninvestigated beliefs and thoughts which form the concepts and basis of how we relate to ourselves and others. Every single terrorist or abuser never investigated their own thoughts and questioned their thoughts. Or if they did, they didn't do it with a reference point of truth or reality and accept it to the point of exchanging it. Yeah, I've been guilty of that one, as we all are. THAT can be a dangerous thing. But it doesn't have to be that way. And it starts with loving what is...what is real and what is true, not rejecting it because of the "shoulds", but loving it...that is where it all starts.
