Passive Suicide - Aggressive Living

It's the worst...passive living which is a slow way of passively committing suicide. We all have tendencies to flip back and forth from time to time, and to pause somewhere in the middle. But where our hearts sit within our relationships with those around us; I'm starting to believe speak more loudly about where we tend to reside more in. We're either passively committing suicide or aggressively living life to the fullest extent within our reach.

Whether you are loud and outgoing, speaking your mind clearly with every other statement ending with an exclamation point. Or more quite and reflective, speaking your honest mind seldomly and with short statements, usually only when asked, isn't necessarily what determines where you are at within this spectrum of living life regarding your relationships.

Are you a fighter; even if you are more quite, or are you a flighter, even if you are loud and outspoken? When it comes down to the level of intimacy within those few but precious relationships in life where intimacy (not necessarily sexual intimacy) are a must in order to truly enjoy a relationship to the fullest..where do you reside?

It's hard to aggressively live life fully when you are doing most of it solo. Even if you find yourself mostly in a crowd...you know when you are really doing life solo. You can be married and have a house full of constant commotion and still...live life solo. It's a place within your heart where you do not let anyone in, and you do not go knocking around the hearts of any others to be let in either.

Community is ever so important, I'm bending towards the notion that the smaller the community the better..but nevertheless...a group of people to live this out within is such an endangered species. Tight-knit, small and reliable communities are an endangered species.

But...in attaining that goal..to live life fully is only done when you are doing it aggressively, proactively and fighting for what you want with what you have, be it ever so limited. When you get knocked down for the 39th time...you brush yourself off and get back up. This, we can all do. For if we don't, then to me...it seems like a passive suicide..what a long slow and sad death.

Put Love In Its Place

"The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." -Romans 13:9-10
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." -Matthew 22:37-40

LOVE DOES NO HARM TO ITS NEIGHBOR. Those God has placed around me whom I can either harm or not harm by my actions and words or lack of them; these are my neighbors. In the parable of the Good Samaritan Jesus uses this story in response to the question of an expert in the Law who wanted to justify himself...
The parable doesn't seem to directly give an answer to the question: "And who is my neighbor?" Luke 10:29.

It makes you have to analyze this parable..like other parables, to find the answer. The problem doesn't lie in the answer, it lies in the question. For if Jesus were to define in clear terms who is the neighbor..well than it could be easily used to get OUT of having to love the people who weren't included in that category. So, Jesus uses a parable with the hero being what this expert in the Law would consider an "enemy" or that may be too strong..but this Samaritan wouldn't be a likely first image of someone coming to mind when thinking of a neighbor. When I think of a neighbor..I think of those who are pretty similar to myself. Our neighbors live by us, so therefore must have some similarities. But this Samaritan hero who demonstrates loving his neighbor seems to abolish the notion that there are some who do NOT fit into this category of our neighbor.

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” ²⁶ “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” ²⁷ He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” ²⁸ “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” ²⁹ But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” ³⁰ In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. ³¹ A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. ³² So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. ³³ But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. ³⁴ He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. ³⁵ The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ ³⁶ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” ³⁷ The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

So if we were to put love in its proper place...we'd see that there is no place where love does not belong.

Kristen's Little Unofficial Commentary Version of John 1-3:21

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. IN HIM WAS LIFE, AND THAT LIFE WAS THE LIGHT OF MEN. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it (or has not overcome it). JOHN 1:1-5

The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world. 1:9

He was in the world, and though the world was made though him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." 1:10-13

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, WHO CAME FROM THE FATHER, FULL OF GRACE AND TRUTH. 1:14

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father's side, has made him known. 1:16-18
Blessing comes from the fullness of his grace, not from the law. There seems to be a distinction between grace and law. Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ, not from the law. Blessings come from the fullness of his grace, but not from the fullness of the law.

Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! 1:29

Even though it appears that Nathanael was skeptical about Jesus by saying, "Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" (1:46) Jesus was not put off in the least, not offended. In fact, he greets Nathanael with affirming words of Nathanael's character: "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false." v.47

Jesus turned water into wine for all the wine at the wedding was already gone. Perhaps this means people were already drunk? The master of the banquet commends the bridgegroom for bringing out the best of the wine at the end; because most do not save the best for last, for when people have already had too much to drink. Yet, Jesus gives them more wine and better wine?! And who knew firsthand where this wine came from? Not the master of the banquet nor the bridegroom; but the SERVANTS and the disciples. John 2:1-11

So, in this account of Jesus from gospel of John; we follow Jesus from this wedding, where he turned water into wine, to the temple courts when it was almost time for Jewish Passover in Jerusalem (religious folk). Is Jesus helping them, like he did the people at the wedding? NO! He pisses them off. He was quite angry with what he found there; men selling cattle, sheep and doves and exchanging money. He made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area; both sheep and cattle and scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. He didn't merely protest with in difference and passively decide to not participate in what was taking place in the temple courts. He took action to put a stop to what was taking place so others could NOT participate and said, "Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!" 2:16. I do not find exclamation marks frequently after Jesus' words; but this has two.

What resulted from Jesus' actions? --"Then the Jews demanded of him, "What miraculous sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?" Jesus audaciously answered them by saying, "Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days." Wow, it almost seems like Jesus was disrespecting their temple. First he stirs things up by driving all away in the temple courts preventing them from being able to sell and exchange money; then he responds to their demands of proving his authority to do this by saying this? Clearly this would offend those he was speaking to, even though Jesus was not referring to this actual temple but his actual body, but Jesus did not waste time in trying to explain this to them or justify his answer, he knew their hearts. Jesus was not responding like this to Nathanael's skepticism earlier. There must have been a sharp difference.

Also, the Jews had demanded Jesus to show them miraculous signs to prove his authority for what he did..he did not deliver what they demanded. He did however show miraculous signs to many people who were at the Passover Feast in Jerusalem; causing them to believe in his name. But Jesus didn't entrust himself to them, "for he knew all men." 2:24 So, Jesus could have easily proven his authority to the Jews who demanded it, but he did not.

In chapter 3 of John, there is an account of a Pharisee named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council, coming to Jesus at night. He acknowledges the miraculous signs done by Jesus and that God was with him. Jesus didn't make it easy for this Pharisee to come to him, but rather seemed to give Nicodemus a hard time with some challenging things to think about and then questioned Nicodemus for not understanding Jesus' teaching while Nicodemus was Israel's teacher. But Jesus does explain more to him, which makes me wonder if Nicodemus' heart WANTED to see the truth. In fact, this is where Jesus explains the famous: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. He goes on to explain further: "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but however does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son..." Isn't this the gospel in a nutshell? Right here explained to this "seeking Pharisee"? So, Jesus was not harshly bent toward all of the religious leaders in Israel. Like it says in 2:24-25 "..for he knew all men. He did not need man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man." It seems to me that this Pharisee got a pretty thorough explanation or revelation from Jesus about the truth. Makes me wonder and consider that Jesus desires leaders to know the truth; so that they can teach it. But unfortunately it seems that many religious leaders do not have a heart that is open to the truth and can hear it.

Addicted To Grace

Hi, my name is Kristen and I'm a gracaholic.

I have a confession to make, I am addicted to grace.

What is grace? The best explanation I've heard: a gift that costs everything for the giver and nothing for the recipient.

I am beginning to take on a new obsession, an obsession over grace. Grappling with understanding it, identifying it, receiving it, walking in it and expelling it to those around me.

So here I am on my little blog using my fingertips to wrench out some of my thoughts regarding grace. One of the first thoughts I have is more of a question or pondering over why there is an apparent notion that many Christians or church-goers, for whatever reason, assemble in an attempt to deny this addiction. This is one addiction we should all find unity in confessing regardless of age, race, education, gender, marital status, sexual orientation, socio-economic class...etc. right? But instead it seems that to be Christian or spiritually elite; one must act like they have been sober for a long time. Sober from falling back onto needing grace that is. Feeling a need to portray an image that one has it all together or is well on their way of having it all together independent of God's grace..or only having needed it a long time ago, before they were "saved".

Okay, so I guess I'm using "lingos" that would be more understandable to one that is somewhat in the "church going sect". Not my intention, but I guess we speak as we are regardless.

As I was saying..I am addicted to grace. I depend on grace and no matter how much I struggle to get away from this need I feel it there. The more I'm realizing about my encounters and experiences with this thing called grace, the more I want it...then comes the guilt afterward. Why the guilt? Because I think a huge part of my brain has been subjected to faulty programing leading to the conclusion of buying into the lie that I should not need THAT much grace from God, and that I should be self-sufficient. Of course not perfect all the time, but good enough on my own compared to "those people"..defined rather subjectively depending on your baseline I suppose. These messages come to us from all sorts of avenues, some more subtle and some very blunt. Our culture admonishes one to be sober from needing God's grace..or needing it THAT much, but unfortunately so do many churches or Christians.

Why should I feel guilty from what is real and from what is unavoidable, depending on God's grace? Depending on the gospel of grace? It's like shaming a baby for being born when they were born..they had no say in the matter. We were designed to depend on God and His grace and that is a good thing my friend. And the problem is not with our design..it's with our think tanks buying into this pervasive lie that we should be ashamed of that, and that we do not need to be that dependent on grace.

The One who came to us..full of grace and truth was Jesus Christ. And the addiction to this One is a good thing..it's being in sync with how you were programmed by the Original Programmer Himself.

If you're not addicted to grace, than you're just trading that addiction in for something else...like the addiction to denying your need for grace. We are all addicts in one way or another, wake up to that fact. Thank God that He made us to be addicted to something good and satisfying..Himself. And that He does not withold what can satisfy..Himself and His grace.

hallelujah.

Talk Talk Talk

"Let your conversation be always full of grace..." -Colossians 4:6

Increasingly, I am more and more pulled, attracted and drawn to a people group of a different tongue, a different language. This language does not originate from any of the spoken languages on earth. Rather it originates from a language that can only be taught from above..it's a sort of heavenly language. You cannot just learn how to manipulate your tongue and lips to make the sounds of this language, for its distinct and unique sounds are not formed in the mouth. It's formed in the heart.

What exactly is this bizarre 'heavenly language'? It's a language which has all its conversations and dialogues bathed in grace. Foremost it's affirming and life-giving. Not nagging and life-sucking. It's kind, gentle, and can effectively deliver truth that's hard to receive in a fashion that is not harsh yet sharp enough to cut through ice. It's full of grace, it's spoken carefully instead of carelessly, sincerely instead of deceitfully "nice".

I once held the notion that this was the way wimps or the weak and flaky spoke. But I'm learning from my experiences being spoken to from others who speak this language of grace, that this notion is very far from the truth.

It is a language that reflects a heart that is strong, mature, loving, sensitive yet secure and confident while also humble. It is a language that I'm coming to believe, is best learned as any other foreign language is learned..by immersion. Yet it's speakers are rare and few. May I find more and more of these people who speak this language, so I can learn it too! For I believe it slowly transforms the listener from the heart..for it is from the overflow of the heart that one speaks.

Even though this is a foreign language to most on earth, there requires no interpreter for it's the native language that all hearts crave and can understand for it's what the heart of mankind was created to receive. While it's foreign and rare...once you've heard it spoken, it's crystal clear what it's meaning is, for it's a heavenly language of grace, and it speaks a message like it's original Speaker does..foremost the message of love..in grace and truth. We are soon to be celebrating the birth of the One who speaks this language so perfectly.

Merry Christmas..

Big Girls Don't Cry

Big girls don't cry. I like Fergie's song..makes for some good tunes. But living in the mindset that believes this is another story.

So, big girls don't cry...Really?
Or is it that we live in a culture or society that nurses and coddles the false notion that crying is a sign of weakness. Could it be more truthful to state that since we are so uncomfortable with how to respond as an adult, to the emotion of sadness, pain, or anger being expressed through the avenue of shed tears; we simply hold onto this notion that big girls don't cry. Or big boys for that matter.

What if we look at it through the eyes of actual big boys and big girls, and therefore can be OK with discomfort that often may accompany this emotion when being expressed instead of repressed? Could it be that it actually takes courage, stamina and real balls to express the emotions that cause tears? Doing this with trusted friends and family where there is safety is wise. Doing this with the general public or acquaintances isn't necessarily the most productive; but not the worst thing in the world either.

Why are we so dry when it comes to sadness, pain and anger, yet this world is full of violence? Could it be that if we shed a tear for the real losses experienced in living in this beautiful but broken world, we may actually prevent some of the violence that explodes from repressing it for so long?

Big girls don't cry..until they grow up.

Being Clean & Tidy Can Reek

Stress in life is inevitable, right? I'm beginning to challenge that notion. Is stress really a given for living? Is that really what you call "living"? I'm starting to realize more and more that stress is commonly a self-imposed state. Yes, there are the inescapable tragedies that unfortunately do occur in life, that no matter what; are unpreventable. Like natural disasters or a health crises; to list few, but I'm thinking more of the daily stresses that we put on ourselves from external pressures that we submit ourselves to. Why do we go to such great lengths to submit to these; often sub-conscientiously when we really do not need to? In fact, when doing so could actually be toxic, or unhealthy and lead to the demise of our relationships with others? One reason I believe many people do not fellowship or simply "hang" with each other so much, and instead are more or less isolated in their own homes is because of this phenomenon. Hopefully I'll get my thoughts across clearly to communicate my point here...

Quite frankly, I personally do not invite many people over or host get-togethers very often because of the "work" that I feel or anticipate being involved in such an endeavor. My house is not one I feel proudly showing off and even if it were; to maintain that condition of my house is a lot of work..especially if you've got kids. What is this crap that I, and so many others get into with this being an obstacle of enjoying the company of others? It is a cultural strong-hold or trap; that keeps us at bay from one another because the "work" that's required is so superficial and doesn't seem to pay off. Why doesn't it seem to pay off? Because all that work being put forth is for hiding from reality, from what is; and instead putting on a polished mask that we believe is what "should be" in place of what is. We think it to be more acceptable or "appropriate" to others to have our masks on. A clean and tidy house, a clean and tidy persona. Well my friends; doing relationships in the milieu of life isn't always going to be clean and tidy. Let's take ourselves and each other off that vicious hook.

Yes, I do enjoy a clean and tidy house. But if I function out of the belief that that is a pre-requisite for enjoying my relationships in; forget about it! Too much work for such little dividends. I'd rather put work into something that will pay off in a real relationship with others based on love and mutual acceptance rather than a facade that requires so much work.

So, while working hard to maintain my clean and tidy house and presentable face to others, I produce sweat and sweat reeks! Quit working so hard to maintain that and the sweat won't reek.

The challenge and the struggle is this; that I feel much better telling you that you need to not judge me and see past my flaws with respect and acceptance..but can I do that with yours? I had better if I want to have a real relationship with a real person versus a relationship with a person on cyberspace interacting via an interface instead of interacting in her real face.