Unexpected and Unforseen lessons/thoughts/reflections from the class called "The Real Life" and the oldest book in the Bible --Job.

So, I've been trying to read my Bible from Genesis to Revelation for the 4th or 5th time? In the past few years, I've been able to do this without much problem within a year. But since having Isabelle, I think it's taken me almost 3 years to complete it! I keep skipping around, which I think is fine.

It's been difficult to get into reading the book of Job, which has been the place of my bookmark for several weeks as I'd honestly rather be reading the New Testament or other books, but I doove into it today with tunnel vision.

I think a lot of it has to do with some very recent things that have been happening in my life; specifically in my marriage. My husband and I have been butting heads about some issues and not being able to get out of this crazy cycle. I'm getting pretty sick of it, and so is he. We are in on this together for the long run though; so exiting the relationship is not an option; no matter how appealing it may feel at certain times...the thought is presented, then exited...which I think is nothing new to marriages.

Marriages are often, one of the many contexts in which God seems to do a lot of plain hardcore work. I can picture Him rolling up His sleeves when the knot is tied! Not like His intentions are to smash us to pieces and leave us to ourselves. But rather -a strong marriage (a firm standing commitment to stay together no matter what comes your way and to enjoy the commitment rather than regret it) often presents the opportunity for the good, the bad and the ugly within, to be let loose. With God being actively involved (usually because He's sought out) it's a real opportunity to become a better and stronger and more mature individual...and therefore a better and stronger and more mature unit. At least this is what I see based on my experiences and observation of others thus far (regarding the marriage relationship providing this sort of opportunity). Call it discipleship 101, humbling, teaching, molding, sharpening, maturing and shaping and they all seem to fit. This may not be the case for those who have already completed all of the above processes, but to the rest of us who are behind...it often is. This can be a good thing, actually it can be a beautiful thing...or it can be a total disaster; depending much on how we respond and approach/handle the normal conflicts which arise in doing life so intertwined with another individual.

So what does all this have to do with the book of Job? If you've ever read the entire book and all the discourses recorded in this ancient yet timeless book you will recall the story. Job was a well-known blessed man. In every sense, life was going well for him. His family, friends, career/livelihood were all very beneficial and satisfying to him. He's introduced to us as this man who was "blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil." In fact God was even bragging about His servant Job to Satan and challenging him. Well, of course Satan wouldn't be one to pass on such a challenge from his enemy...God. So it was on...in an attempt to get Job to curse God to His face, Satan completely destroyed all that God allowed him to, not sparing anything but the breath coming out of his mouth (his life).

Well, in reading this in the context of what's been going on with Moses and I and our "issues" of arguing eachother half to death on certain points, a light went on in my head..."bling". Finally when I got done reading chapter 19 I thought to myself...Job is in deep pain and anguish (physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally) for he was suffering like most of us could never imagine. Yet when his friends who traveled from their distant homes and met up in an agreement with each other, to go and sympathize with Job and comfort him had arrived...after 7 days of silence, they responded to this suffering man's words and cries with harsh judgement! And even worse...they claimed that this judgement was on behalf of God, for they used God and His name to defend their own judgements. It seemed to me as though they were completely blinded by their quest to "speak up for God and what's right" for "God's sake" that they actually angered God in the end. They failed to do what they had originally set out to do which was a good thing...to sympathize with Job and comfort him. They were unable to respond to what they couldn't see, -Job's pain, and therefore were unable to comfort him because they wanted so badly to correct Job and to make their own points and arguments against Job's words...words poured out in agony. To Job's friends, being "right/accurate" versus being compassionate and loving and kind, took precedence. And this was what caused God to be angry with them (the friends) because the quest for being "right" rather than being loving and compassionate wasn't actually right in God's eyes, given the particular circumstance. Even though Job charged God and railed at Him in his deep suffering and agony and was full of "errors" in doing so...Job was not charged for any wrongdoing. In the end...he was actually doubly blessed.

What does this reveal about God? What does this reveal about how we should relate with each other (specifially in marriages although this applies in many other kinds of relationships too)? That God desires love and compassion in the face of pain and suffering over and above "being right"? Are we more concerned with being "right" in the face of conflicts with each other more than being loving and responding to any kind of offense or pain the other may be experiencing, be it ever so small in our perspective? Are we to judge whether the source of this pain/suffering or offense is of validity or to assume we know whom to blame, and therefore excuse the consequences that followed as saying "that's what they get"?

Do we do what Job's friends did in dealing with our own conflicts and confrontations with our spouses, children, friends or other family members or even society at large? Do we fail to see any hint or traces of pain and suffering or offense because we are on this quest to correct everyone's thinking/beliefs/feelings? I think sometimes this is often what happens. Not always.

Let's not go to the other extreme of saying that God holds little regard for the truth or being right/accurate about what we think and believe, as long as we are just being loving and compassionate. Clearly the Scriptures reveal that God is all about truth...He is The Truth in the personhood of Jesus Christ...entirely. But this is not what I'm speaking of. I'm speaking of the times within the context of our relationships, when there is any kind of conflict resulting in any pain or suffering being experienced by someone in whom we are in relationship with...when they speak out of this pain and suffering or offense...many "errors" can often come out of their mouths at that time. But I think what I'm getting out of this whole thing with Job is that it is NOT our primary job to correct/defend/accuse the person, given the circumstances. Let GOD do that! And that's exactly what He did. He spoke out of the storm and responded to all the discourse with His own questions, in which NONE of them could answer...including Job...yet God did NOT become angry with Job. He confronted Job's friends for not speaking of Him right...yet commended Job for speaking "what is right".

So, wrapping it up here...I guess moral of my little post here is that I'm learning that within our relationships, being "right" isn't always what is necessarily "right". That responding to people in their pain and suffering of whatever sort, with love and compassion takes precedence -THIS is right. There may be a time and place for discussing how we may disagree with them...but let that be put on hold and wait until there is reconciliation and healing FIRST. This can be applied to any kind of relationship in which conflicts arise. I think it even has some limited applicability/relevance to how we respond to social issues in our culture/community/society as people who call themselves Christians. This wasn't my original thought when I ventured out on this post, but I think it could be...but I think that's enough for now on this...