So, it was New Year's Eve in the afternoon, and we had some plans but I was pondering on the fact that my husband and I don't seem to have a tight group/circle/network of mutual friends. Why not? At first I was a little upset and blaming him for this, then I realized that it's because we, as individuals are so different, that it would be hard to find people or someone who could related to both of us, and we to them in a meaningful and mutual way. I have my own friends that I feel like I can go to with just about anything, whether it's serious or not. He doesn't really and says it's very hard for him to be able to relate to a lot of the people here in Minnesota.
He grew up in El Paso, TX. A very different place, a very different childhood...and so here we are..married and raising our daughter. We see lots of things differently, from a different perspective. But the differences we have need to be put in their proper place -and stay there. The differences we have are insignificant in the grand scheme of things; especially if you look at it regarding the Kingdom of God and eternity. Yet, these difference definately do put up some challenges in our marriage. But like I said -we need to put them in their proper place...and see them in their proper place. I'm not saying we need to pretend they do not exist or have much to do with how we do life as a couple. They do infact exist and can and have created much conflict. But not conflict that is unresolvable -given that we both approach it and deal with it, and put it in its proper place...for these are and should remain second class identifiers, not first. They should not define us alone as a primary identifier, individually or as a unit/couple.
So, what are these differences that I speak of? Primarily social/cultural differences...differences that I think are reflective of culture...culture of man/human... Man's ways of perceiving their environment and how to respond to it, mostly by measuring it by what man thinks...not necessarily what God thinks. This is by no means a scholarly reflection, but just some of my random thoughts that are very likely ignorant and totally not PC. I do realize though that it is being posted on the world wide web, so I will try to be careful and how I share my thoughts, while also trying not to do injustice to my subjective truth regarding my experience/perceptions (which are often changing)...
Culture is something that is very ingrained in us. This is not necessarily bad, nor is it necessarily good. So what place does culture have in the kingdom of God? I think it definately has a place in the Kingdom...because the Kingdom is about people...and people (at least on this planet) come from a culture. God loves people, -period. But God doesn't necessarily love everything about the culture they are from, even though I think He values the personhood completely. So, how much power/authority are we going to allow or at least knowingly allow our culture to have over us? Well, this is tested out in our marriage in many respects.
Let me state that the differences we have are, I believe, in having a different sub-cultures (socio-economic) we grew up in. We both were raised in an American culture. But I was raised in a "middle-class White American" sub-culture; while he was raised in a "lower class Hispanic/Latino" (in his own words) sub-culture. But even though in in the view of the vastness of cultures on the globe; our little differences do have play a role in how we do life as a couple/family/marriage.
But, why do we let these difference -little as they are in the grand scheme of things...effect so much of how we do life with others and determining who we do life with and how much we will do life with? I am preaching to the choir also (myself)! AHHHH-- it seems so fundamentally and logically stupid...yet we do it like we breath air...so naturally! Why is it so hard for us to find more of these mutual friends that are somewhere out there...over the rainbow way up high...!! Why? Why? Why?
Okay, I got started on this, but i must stop for tonight. I need to get some sleep, and maybe this seems like a good place to rest...T.B.C.
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