"Twisted Scriptures" - Dicing It Up

"Controversy for the sake of truth is a divine command." -Dr. Walter Martin

I'm currently reading a book that I wish I could carve out the time to devour, as it is so fitting and relevant to experiences I've had with several other Christians in my life, recent and not so recent, some well-intended but very misguided, and some ill-intended..only God knows.. I feel like all these issues are coming to the surface in regards to a hard fall I'm recovering from in my own walk.

The dross is being brought to the surface, while going through the refining fire, and it's not fun or pleasant, but I believe the fruit of it will be so sweet. I'm sure I'll be blogging on several different issues as I'm a hyper-processor, and as these thoughts work through and out of my mind and make its way out onto the world wide web through the avenues of my fingertips.

This is such a crazy experience, I would have never imagined all these things could be brought out of such a difficult situation, but I shouldn't be so surprised, right? After all, that IS how His Majesty rolls~~

I've often aspired to having a very teachable spirit. And I've always wanted to be taught, directed and guided, even by very rigid or "straight-forward" people. I felt like I was "tough" for being able to "take it" from people and not get so offended, it was almost like a spiritual trophy for being able to receive "tough love" in the name of wanting to be a disciple of Christ. Mix this with a propensity towards being an extremist that goes from being a people-pleaser to a people-pisser-offer, and this can make for quite an interesting concoction.

I am learning to exercise and tone up a very flabby spiritual muscle of mine -discernment. Discern advice, counsel and others speaking into my life. I was ignorant/naive, and therefore vulnerable to being put on the receiving end of spiritual abuse/manipulation from people I respected and admired. Usually these people were significantly older than myself, in a very similar role of a parent or in my mind, an authoritative figure. There was an evident "power differential" that at least I felt on my end. I even thought I was lucky and more blessed to have such caring people who would tell me how it really is at the cost of me maybe not liking them, but at the cost of "truth" for "my sake", oh how they were sacrificing for my own good! --What a bunch of bull shit...but this is spiritual bull shit, which is even more sickening.

As an adolescent, I was living the other extreme. This seems to be a behavioral pattern I'm learning plays into my life more than I'd care to admit...being an extreme extremist, and eventually after several knocks on the head, I seem to find that elusive equilibrium, but it sure would be nice to find that without the knocks on the head, if only I wasn't so hard-headed. But wait, how can I be so "teachable" and "hard-headed" at the same time? Another personal paradox of mine I guess. Anyways...as I was saying, I was a rebel to authority when I was in middle school age. I hated and disrespected authority and let em know it with no uncertainty. In doing this, I felt I was tough too, what another load of b.s.

Well, that eventually chilled out when I started hanging out with Asians and was told that was simply not...well, -not Asian. Asian culture is all about "showing respect". I was after all, Asian, but I had absolutely no idea what the heck that meant, being Asian. I was raised by White-Americans in a predominantly White community, and I was looking for my identity, and the first place I searched in this pursuit of finding this mysterious identity of mine was under the rock labeled "Race/Ethnicity". That could be a whole different post, I really need to focus or I'll go all over the place in this if I'm led astray by my ADHD (self-diagnosed)...oh, the precious backspace button..how I love thee..

Back to the topic--

I'm in a place where I'm leery of people and questioning everything I never questioned about spiritual advice, especially coming from people I looked to in typical "parental"/"authoritative" roles. Having that mindset, I'm learning the hard way, can be extremely dangerous. I thought I was being submissive and obedient, or humble before God, and the enemy pounced on me and I experienced a little spoonful of shame to make the medicine or the "disciplining hand of God" go down, with Bible verses being sneered at me after coming clean and walking the path of repentance. I'm now realizing that kind of response was completely well...unBiblical and NOT at all a reflection of Jesus, in whom I follow.

In short here, because I just don't have the time to expound more on stuff I'm processing...I'm learning to follow what the Apostles did in Acts 5:29 "We must obey God rather than men". And I'm learning that there are a number of men and women out there who seem to confuse their own opinions and conclusions with God's...ummm, scary. And what's even more scary to me is that I confused this with God's voice. God's voice is tender to the tender-hearted...

No more of that non-sense, no sir-ee, not for me... Knowing who I am is not enough...I'm learning that knowing who others are, and who they ARE NOT is also critical. Others and their strong opinions and judgments are theirs, and can very well be separate from God's.

Wrapping it up here for now... exercising this discernment muscle with this on my spiritual dashboard will save me from much unnecessary shame and heartache...

"Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil." - 1 Thessalonians 5:19-22