Inauguration triggers some reflections

Watching the inauguration of Barack Obama today inspired me to write a little about some of my recent thoughts regarding this historical event. I don't care what your political ideologies are, we as a nation can and should come together and be proud of what took place today. But honestly, if you, like me, don't find it as easy coming or natural to think much of the event at first (without getting caught up in the media spotlights)...than I think it's okay, as long as you START at that point, but not end there.

I, unfortunately, like many other Americans in my generation who don't easily relate/identify with a common background/history of African Americans, not out of evil intent, but just out of possible ignorance or just being human and naturally seeing things from a narrow point of view (the one we can relate closest to being similar in ours because we are not all-knowing), should be confronted with not staying content to continue in this cloud of ignorance. Believe me, I am not one to say that I stand above others who struggle with any kinds of prejudices or discrimination of people who are different than I, but this is something that I want to struggle to grow more and more OUT of, rather then struggle to rationalize being able to remain in this state of mind.

I think that most people, if they are completely honest with themselves do hold some sort of prejudices. This shouldn't be so hard to state. It's the starting point in growing out of it. And I'm excited to start growing out of it more and more. I think the biggest problem isn't the fact that prejudices and discrimination exists, but that so many are okay with it and therefore perpetuate it. In whatever race/socio-economic class that exists, each have this "social norm" of certain prejudices/discrimination. It's all pooled together and the pushing force in perpetuating it is apathetic ignorance. What do we do to at least get out of this apathy that lingers regarding so much ignorance? I think the first is to realize it's NOT okay!

After declaring that we do not want to be okay with this ignorance, then what? What about just educating yourself? It's hard (but not impossible) to remain ignorant when you get more in touch with people from different backgrounds and not just educate yourself on statistical data or textbook kind of knowledge, but to try and understand other people's STORIES of their own lives they've lived. Get behind the textbook data and into people's lives -from THEIR own perspective, not a historian or third party author, though it's probably a good start I think. Well, I'm kinda just talking to myself out loud on this post...I should really take my own advice...

Last week my husband and I watched "The Great Debaters" with Denzel Washington and it really opened my eyes to a my own ignorance. Even though I've grown up "knowing" from school textbooks, about the oppression and injustices the African Americans endured and still do in many aspects, this movie, for some reason really hit me. It helped me to realize the great progress and significance of now having a black President. I was rather torn at the Poll back in November regarding the presidential candidates, but I am now in a position of feeling hope and more openness to our new President. I think it's time and I'm looking forward with anticipation, like millions of others to see how he will arise to the occasion. I am not worried, but more hopeful. I am celebrating this day in history because I have taken baby steps in educating myself and realizing what this day means, for Blacks and everyone else.

Unexpected and Unforseen lessons/thoughts/reflections from the class called "The Real Life" and the oldest book in the Bible --Job.

So, I've been trying to read my Bible from Genesis to Revelation for the 4th or 5th time? In the past few years, I've been able to do this without much problem within a year. But since having Isabelle, I think it's taken me almost 3 years to complete it! I keep skipping around, which I think is fine.

It's been difficult to get into reading the book of Job, which has been the place of my bookmark for several weeks as I'd honestly rather be reading the New Testament or other books, but I doove into it today with tunnel vision.

I think a lot of it has to do with some very recent things that have been happening in my life; specifically in my marriage. My husband and I have been butting heads about some issues and not being able to get out of this crazy cycle. I'm getting pretty sick of it, and so is he. We are in on this together for the long run though; so exiting the relationship is not an option; no matter how appealing it may feel at certain times...the thought is presented, then exited...which I think is nothing new to marriages.

Marriages are often, one of the many contexts in which God seems to do a lot of plain hardcore work. I can picture Him rolling up His sleeves when the knot is tied! Not like His intentions are to smash us to pieces and leave us to ourselves. But rather -a strong marriage (a firm standing commitment to stay together no matter what comes your way and to enjoy the commitment rather than regret it) often presents the opportunity for the good, the bad and the ugly within, to be let loose. With God being actively involved (usually because He's sought out) it's a real opportunity to become a better and stronger and more mature individual...and therefore a better and stronger and more mature unit. At least this is what I see based on my experiences and observation of others thus far (regarding the marriage relationship providing this sort of opportunity). Call it discipleship 101, humbling, teaching, molding, sharpening, maturing and shaping and they all seem to fit. This may not be the case for those who have already completed all of the above processes, but to the rest of us who are behind...it often is. This can be a good thing, actually it can be a beautiful thing...or it can be a total disaster; depending much on how we respond and approach/handle the normal conflicts which arise in doing life so intertwined with another individual.

So what does all this have to do with the book of Job? If you've ever read the entire book and all the discourses recorded in this ancient yet timeless book you will recall the story. Job was a well-known blessed man. In every sense, life was going well for him. His family, friends, career/livelihood were all very beneficial and satisfying to him. He's introduced to us as this man who was "blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil." In fact God was even bragging about His servant Job to Satan and challenging him. Well, of course Satan wouldn't be one to pass on such a challenge from his enemy...God. So it was on...in an attempt to get Job to curse God to His face, Satan completely destroyed all that God allowed him to, not sparing anything but the breath coming out of his mouth (his life).

Well, in reading this in the context of what's been going on with Moses and I and our "issues" of arguing eachother half to death on certain points, a light went on in my head..."bling". Finally when I got done reading chapter 19 I thought to myself...Job is in deep pain and anguish (physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally) for he was suffering like most of us could never imagine. Yet when his friends who traveled from their distant homes and met up in an agreement with each other, to go and sympathize with Job and comfort him had arrived...after 7 days of silence, they responded to this suffering man's words and cries with harsh judgement! And even worse...they claimed that this judgement was on behalf of God, for they used God and His name to defend their own judgements. It seemed to me as though they were completely blinded by their quest to "speak up for God and what's right" for "God's sake" that they actually angered God in the end. They failed to do what they had originally set out to do which was a good thing...to sympathize with Job and comfort him. They were unable to respond to what they couldn't see, -Job's pain, and therefore were unable to comfort him because they wanted so badly to correct Job and to make their own points and arguments against Job's words...words poured out in agony. To Job's friends, being "right/accurate" versus being compassionate and loving and kind, took precedence. And this was what caused God to be angry with them (the friends) because the quest for being "right" rather than being loving and compassionate wasn't actually right in God's eyes, given the particular circumstance. Even though Job charged God and railed at Him in his deep suffering and agony and was full of "errors" in doing so...Job was not charged for any wrongdoing. In the end...he was actually doubly blessed.

What does this reveal about God? What does this reveal about how we should relate with each other (specifially in marriages although this applies in many other kinds of relationships too)? That God desires love and compassion in the face of pain and suffering over and above "being right"? Are we more concerned with being "right" in the face of conflicts with each other more than being loving and responding to any kind of offense or pain the other may be experiencing, be it ever so small in our perspective? Are we to judge whether the source of this pain/suffering or offense is of validity or to assume we know whom to blame, and therefore excuse the consequences that followed as saying "that's what they get"?

Do we do what Job's friends did in dealing with our own conflicts and confrontations with our spouses, children, friends or other family members or even society at large? Do we fail to see any hint or traces of pain and suffering or offense because we are on this quest to correct everyone's thinking/beliefs/feelings? I think sometimes this is often what happens. Not always.

Let's not go to the other extreme of saying that God holds little regard for the truth or being right/accurate about what we think and believe, as long as we are just being loving and compassionate. Clearly the Scriptures reveal that God is all about truth...He is The Truth in the personhood of Jesus Christ...entirely. But this is not what I'm speaking of. I'm speaking of the times within the context of our relationships, when there is any kind of conflict resulting in any pain or suffering being experienced by someone in whom we are in relationship with...when they speak out of this pain and suffering or offense...many "errors" can often come out of their mouths at that time. But I think what I'm getting out of this whole thing with Job is that it is NOT our primary job to correct/defend/accuse the person, given the circumstances. Let GOD do that! And that's exactly what He did. He spoke out of the storm and responded to all the discourse with His own questions, in which NONE of them could answer...including Job...yet God did NOT become angry with Job. He confronted Job's friends for not speaking of Him right...yet commended Job for speaking "what is right".

So, wrapping it up here...I guess moral of my little post here is that I'm learning that within our relationships, being "right" isn't always what is necessarily "right". That responding to people in their pain and suffering of whatever sort, with love and compassion takes precedence -THIS is right. There may be a time and place for discussing how we may disagree with them...but let that be put on hold and wait until there is reconciliation and healing FIRST. This can be applied to any kind of relationship in which conflicts arise. I think it even has some limited applicability/relevance to how we respond to social issues in our culture/community/society as people who call themselves Christians. This wasn't my original thought when I ventured out on this post, but I think it could be...but I think that's enough for now on this...

Why I Will Not Buy Me a Coach Handbag..(bear with my slight crassness and sarcasm)

Because every female and her Mother, sister, aunt, niece, and Grandma in America have one...or at least a knock off.

Seriously...why should I? Why do so many women/girls aka. females have these? Many of my beloved females have one, and I do love them (the females). But I've noticed that I cannot go out in public without seeing at least one. Whether it's the real thing or a knock off...who knows...but it's all one in the same to me.

Chasing after the Joneses, or the Ms. Joneses. Really now...how individualistic are we if we all try to be like the crowd. We reserve the right, in our pursuit of obtaining happiness, to be like how all the ads and media tell us we should be, but to do this in our own individual way....ahhh yes...that is the American way. That is the American dream baby~ to get all we can so we can try and be like everyone else, or even better...maybe you can "one up" some on the way to be like everyone else...of course in our own individualistic ways mind you.

Of course I know that I am no major exception to this rat race phenomenon that I speak of, but I at least like to think that I'm taking more and more steps AWAY from this futile and tragic rat race of chasing after the Joneses (the cheese). "Hey look...they have an Escalade....I want an Escalade...hey look she has a coach handbag....I want 5 Coach handbags....ahhh...they are going on a vacation to Florida...I want to go on a vacation to Florida...they all have the newest iPods, iPhones...blah blah blah". Like walking Zombies is how I've heard it termed...I think it unfortunately accurately depicts the mainstream culture in America. You can find this mainstream thinking in every sub-culture. You don't necessarily have to be educated and be of the elite class...you can be living on food stamps while doing your own version of the rat race..chasing after the Joneses.

So, it's my little stance. I will not buy a coach handbag because I don't want to buy into what it represents in my perception...being like everyone else, or what everyone else calls "cool" or even "standard". Even though it appears to have some label attached to it, and I think that is more of why people buy them...because they're wanting the label that they believe is attached to owning one and somehow buying into this lie that you are someone better if you carry a coach handbag vs. one from Target (that doesn't look like a cheap imitation of one). How pathetic. I'm in and out of the pathetic game...but indeed I see...it is just that --a pathetic game.

It's not that I hold some kinda weird grudge against these certain items or things...there's nothing wrong with them in and of themselves. I may have one myself someday, who knows!?. But rather it's the vanity behind all the motivation that moves people to spend so much money on these things demanding they must have them all NOW....a desperate attempt to "purchase" an identity that they believe is attached to having ownership of these materialistic items, mostly because that's what the ads and the media and all their devout followers adhere to.

So, if you ever see me with a coach handbag...slap me! But before you do ask me where I got it, and I'm sure you'll learn it was a gift or someone gave it away for free to me.

chuga chuga choo choo!

This is me with my daughter and neices on New Year's Eve having a little massage train! This is one thing I'm known for amongst them...massages! I love my all my beautiful little girlies!!!

Sub-Culture Diversity In Marriage

Yesterday I had a pretty cool talk with my husband. I really do cherish these, and must say they are unfortunately far and few between. Much of this is due to the nature of just being busy parents.

So, it was New Year's Eve in the afternoon, and we had some plans but I was pondering on the fact that my husband and I don't seem to have a tight group/circle/network of mutual friends. Why not? At first I was a little upset and blaming him for this, then I realized that it's because we, as individuals are so different, that it would be hard to find people or someone who could related to both of us, and we to them in a meaningful and mutual way. I have my own friends that I feel like I can go to with just about anything, whether it's serious or not. He doesn't really and says it's very hard for him to be able to relate to a lot of the people here in Minnesota.

He grew up in El Paso, TX. A very different place, a very different childhood...and so here we are..married and raising our daughter. We see lots of things differently, from a different perspective. But the differences we have need to be put in their proper place -and stay there. The differences we have are insignificant in the grand scheme of things; especially if you look at it regarding the Kingdom of God and eternity. Yet, these difference definately do put up some challenges in our marriage. But like I said -we need to put them in their proper place...and see them in their proper place. I'm not saying we need to pretend they do not exist or have much to do with how we do life as a couple. They do infact exist and can and have created much conflict. But not conflict that is unresolvable -given that we both approach it and deal with it, and put it in its proper place...for these are and should remain second class identifiers, not first. They should not define us alone as a primary identifier, individually or as a unit/couple.

So, what are these differences that I speak of? Primarily social/cultural differences...differences that I think are reflective of culture...culture of man/human... Man's ways of perceiving their environment and how to respond to it, mostly by measuring it by what man thinks...not necessarily what God thinks. This is by no means a scholarly reflection, but just some of my random thoughts that are very likely ignorant and totally not PC. I do realize though that it is being posted on the world wide web, so I will try to be careful and how I share my thoughts, while also trying not to do injustice to my subjective truth regarding my experience/perceptions (which are often changing)...

Culture is something that is very ingrained in us. This is not necessarily bad, nor is it necessarily good. So what place does culture have in the kingdom of God? I think it definately has a place in the Kingdom...because the Kingdom is about people...and people (at least on this planet) come from a culture. God loves people, -period. But God doesn't necessarily love everything about the culture they are from, even though I think He values the personhood completely. So, how much power/authority are we going to allow or at least knowingly allow our culture to have over us? Well, this is tested out in our marriage in many respects.

Let me state that the differences we have are, I believe, in having a different sub-cultures (socio-economic) we grew up in. We both were raised in an American culture. But I was raised in a "middle-class White American" sub-culture; while he was raised in a "lower class Hispanic/Latino" (in his own words) sub-culture. But even though in in the view of the vastness of cultures on the globe; our little differences do have play a role in how we do life as a couple/family/marriage.

But, why do we let these difference -little as they are in the grand scheme of things...effect so much of how we do life with others and determining who we do life with and how much we will do life with? I am preaching to the choir also (myself)! AHHHH-- it seems so fundamentally and logically stupid...yet we do it like we breath air...so naturally! Why is it so hard for us to find more of these mutual friends that are somewhere out there...over the rainbow way up high...!! Why? Why? Why?

Okay, I got started on this, but i must stop for tonight. I need to get some sleep, and maybe this seems like a good place to rest...T.B.C.