Well, I've ordered a book I've been putting on the back burner to read for a long time. "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge. I've read the book "Captivating" by Stasi & John and absolutely loved it. And I've always wanted my husband to read it, figured he has 2 daughters and a wife, and after all..women are the more complicated ones, and men are the Simpletons, right? Plus, he is the man and he should read that first, THEN I would read "Wild at Heart". If you're not familiar with these books, they are books that a couple wrote that, at least "Captivating" in my opinion, did a great job capturing and revealing the heart and soul of what makes a woman unique in her femininity and "Wild at Heart" reveals the inner secrets or places of the soul of a man. We are each created in the image of our Maker, but as women and men, we reflect different aspects of our Maker. We have both been created in our Maker, and at the same time, live in a broken war-zone world and therefore experience wounds in somewhat very unique ways.
In only understanding your own gender and not going into the world of the opposite sex, I am starting to realize, you miss a significant part of the heart of God. For again, we each reflect our Maker and have been created in His image and likeness.
I think I am a bit more of a feminist than what I have realized. For one, I've never had brothers, no uncles or male cousins that I had any kind of significant relationship with, and didn't experience a very close knit relationship with my own father growing up. I had many close guy friends, and in retrospect can see that these guy friends I had gave me a good glimpse into what the male world is like apart from God.. And this, I believe may have been the start of my becoming a feminist who started to see there was not much worth respecting regarding men, SPECIFICALLY in how they related to women.
I was often referred to by my guy friends in high school as their sister, or as one of the guys...but a girl. They didn't edit stuff out because I was there, they talked about stuff with me and around me to each other as if I was one of the guys. At the time I felt lucky, like I was given special privileges to be this "insider" of the world of guys. But am now starting to see that it greatly jaded my view of men and gave me a disdain for many of their views on women and relationships.
Well, now I am walking with God and desire to reflect Him. I desire to know Him deeply and to abide in Him. But I have also struggled within my marriage. I am finding that I do not understand my own man and how different he is from me. Almost all of the areas that he's different than me in, and that I used to really like, I find so irritating. If I was completely honest, I would say that I wish he was just more like me. More like me in how he thought, in how he related and in how he functioned in our marriage. But he is not, (thank God) and so there is this conundrum.
If I had a son, I figured I would definitely read this book and get to know the world of the male heart and the male psyche. But I have no sons, so I've been quite reluctant to read this...until now. Now I'm asking myself, what if these struggles I experience within my own marriage are related to my ignorance of how men are created differently that woman, and in my stubbornness to understand and RESPECT the unique differences. My husband was also created in the image of His Maker, but yet he is so different than me and I cannot figure him out and I do not have a sincere respect for these differences. This, I feel a burden in my heart to grow out of and to get to know the world of being a male in a broken world, and to RESPECT those struggles, those wounds and those longings of a man. Right now, I don't get it, I don't understand them and I am frustrated with them.
We'll see what things will come of this journey...a journey into the world of the heart of a man, after all, I am married to one and live in a world with them. Feminism is wonderful in many ways, I absolutely love being a woman. But in my pride of being a woman, I want to also have respect for those who are not.
